There is, in reality, no real connection between the world external and the world internal.In Z Meditation Retreat, we learn that experientially. Living in silence, you become very aware of the imaginary connections and relations you have created in your mind. You realize that these imaginations are giving you pain. Prioritizing straight, you learn how to detach from these unreal connections.
When you reflect closely upon your own life, you find that it is those supposed solutions to your problems that turn into new problems with the passage of time. When your desires do get fulfilled – and the non-fulfilment and delay in fulfilment were your earlier problems – you tend to start taking them for granted in no time. Then you begin looking at something else that you feel will give you relief. That ‘seeking something else’ becomes a new problem for you.
You also have expectations from people you are mentally connected to. You want your husband or wife or children or friends or parents etc. to behave the way you like. You cannot appreciate the differences in mental patterns and behaviours. You have strong right-wrong definitions that your society has imposed upon your mind. This is also a problem and it causes acute suffering.
At Z Meditation, we try to de-condition ourselves from the wrong societal conditionings. We learn to dissociate the emotive perspectives from the factual ones. The former causes suffering and the latter gives peace. Whenever there is a mis-match between what you believe in and the actual reality, suffering takes place. Most of the people in the world go out and try to conform the actuality to the beliefs. It can never happen. There will always be shortcomings. This majority of people suffer due to this futile effort. And there are those few in the minority who would rather change themselves. They have all the likelihood of living in peace and happiness.
Whatever your problem is, can you try to look at it in the light of the above definition of suffering? Whenever there is a mis-match between what you believe in and the actual reality, suffering takes place. Now ask yourself what do you want to change – yourself or the world around you. You cannot change the latter, which is for sure. But you can surely change yourself. That will give you lightness and peace.