My last fifteen days in the Z meditation center were one important step in my spiritual progress which started a year ago, when I met one very special guy who showed me how to look on things, on life, and on the world. After that, I went on to this trip to India (another step) and I keep finding new and wonderful things around me. In the beginning, I did not think about meditation and when I started thinking about it, everybody told me about the Vipassana. So I went to see what they were talking about and it was nice, but then I heard about the Z Meditation and before I even knew what it meant, I felt good about it. And when I talked with people who have done the retreat, I felt the need to be here. I knew it was the right thing for me to do, especially at this point of my life.
So I came to the retreat with a little bit of fear; I was afraid of being with me alone, not speaking for fifteen days. I think that I know me well, but I was confused and a lot of thoughts ran in my head. And more important, I was afraid of change. It took me time to open myself to what I heard and felt during the retreat. And it will take me much more time to really live it, but I’m ready and I think that I’m in the “promise way”.
Today was the best day for me. I felt like I’m really connected to my peace, in the meditation, and in the yoga also. I spent a lot more time with no unwanted thoughts. In the yoga, I really felt my body, the hands, the legs and other places. It was amazing. I felt it so strong, for the first time in my life.
I still have problem with concentration for a long time, but with a good practice it will be better. I’ll be better. So, now I’m thinking about tomorrow, the last day, and I feel a little bit sad. Just when I found my place here, I have to leave.
But I know that you gave me what I needed and from now on, I depend on me. And I feel stronger because of that.”
Thank you very much.