Rona

My last fifteen days were the hardest and the easiest that I ever experienced in my life. Hard because I kept my mouth shut for whole days for the first time in my life. At first I felt like I was being punished, but then I realized I really don’t need to talk all the time, and that in fact most of the time, I waste my energy on nonsense.
Hard because for the first time, I had no choice but to face my weaknesses without mercy. You just didn’t give me any other way. I had to recognize my dependency as the source of all my pain and misery. But doing that created such relief that I still can’t believe it. It’s not because of me or my rotten personality that I’m suffering; it’s because of my choice to be so attached!
Once I got this understanding, I felt peaceful. Your telling me that there is a way to solve my problems, was the most optimistic moment I remember since the day I remember myself.

Thank you!
I felt like I found the key. Now I need the courage and persistence to keep using it. I know that if I will do so, one day the door shall open.
Thank you so much!