Lilee

Though my mind felt like soup in the beginning, I was accepting the lessons into my heart and after the 1st full day I felt a shiver down my spine at the thought that I might not have come to do this retreat. It was just by accident, but it was such a beautiful accident.
This knowledge greatly puzzled me since I did not understand how it was possible for me to laugh or feel such happiness. Before coming here, there was only confusion and sadness and yearning inside.
This morning, with my back straight and full awareness, eyes closed and slow breathing, something happened. I felt happiness like a child. I felt eternity. I felt immense peace and I was floating in love, though very much grounded to the present: I cannot explain this state that I was in, but what did happen was that inside myself, I began to laugh with true joy and love. I was the Buddha at that moment, as I am now, since I realized that this reality was always there; only I was blinded to it by the clouds of my mind and the buzzing of my thoughts.
Coming to McLeod gang I realized that the whole purpose of coming to India was to come to Z Meditation Centre to meet you. I momentarily lamented for having taken almost 2 months to get here, until I realized that my journey here prepared me.”
Thank you from the depths for helping me to help myself.