Jessika Ava

Z Meditation Experience

I’m a 32 year old American female and I can say unequivocally, Z Meditation retreat has been one
of the most significant turning points of my life. It has been four years ago to date that I walked up
the steps to Ajay and Suruchi’s Z Meditation center to meet them for the first time. This was my
first meditation retreat and I kept no expectations, only an open mind and heart. I had attempted to
practice meditation now and again throughout my life before the retreat, but was never able to find
a technique that worked well with me and my lifestyle and so never kept up with it. Upon arrival to
the retreat there was an immediate overwhelming sense of peace and comfort that made me feel very
secure about what would take place in the coming two weeks.

Before the retreat I suppose I had all the common issues that plague one’s life, issues with family and
partners, the direction of my life. But it wasn’t until midway through the retreat that I could put a more
clear focus on why those issues were occurring…I had been consistently living in the future, I didn’t even
fully realize that the present moment even existed. In my psyche, the future would complete me, and
the future was all there was. My entire life’s journey up to that point had been a means to an end, seen
nothing more than a stepping stone to what was beyond the horizon, I was playing a perpetual game of
chase to an ideal outcome that I could never quite grasp…and this led to anxieties, worries, a constant
struggle against “what is” in the idealism that “what could be” would be better – and somehow,
complete.

It took hours and hours of internalization, and even tears. But about midway through the retreat, I
woke up in the middle of the night to realize that some proverbial veil had been lifted. I was seeing the
exact same world, through the exact same eyes, but I was seeing it with pure clarity. All of my former
unnecessary requirements and misperceptions of personality melted away, my true self emerged- I was
free. And, I was in Complete Joy. I realized there are no problems, there are no worries, I am not my
future, I am not my past, nor am I my personality traits. I realized that the only thing that truly matters
is this single moment. And that this single moment, without all the preconceived notions – is perfect.
And along with these realizations came a plethora of other insights. But explaining them wouldn’t
even begin to adequately describe them, nor do the above two paragraphs begin to accurately describe
the transformation, and I wouldn’t expect any reader to fully empathize what I am saying. It’s not
something that can be understood intellectually, it’s only something that can be realized. And Z
Meditation offers you the space for that realization to occur.

Since my first visit to the Z Meditation retreat, I have returned two additional times. These last four
years, since first encountering the Deep Inquiry and Deconditioning techniques, have been the most
peaceful of my life. Even as I work in a field that requires me to see so much negativity of the world
every single day, my heart is still filled with love and joy. Through all the trials I’ve faced over the last
four years there is a constant underlying foundation of peace, of stillness, of constant contentment.

And I know – I fully have realized – that no matter what, everything is going to be okay. Everything is
going to be perfect.