Z Meditation Worksheet

Meditation Worksheet

This Meditation Worksheet will give you the sweet taste of Deep Deconditioning Inquiry. Do this work in writing. If you honestly answer the questions, you should be immediately out of your suffering. You will understand that the only place in the world that needs changing is you. Your happiness is your own responsibility. And your unhappiness too!

You must realize that your only obligation in this lifetime is to change yourself. Others may not change and you cannot expedite the process of evolution.

Take your time to deeply think about the answers. Let the questions be asked by the mind; and let the answers come straight from the heart.

Six profound questions

State the thought that disturbs you in your meditation and then ask:

I. Is it a dream or reality?

a) Is it relevant in this moment?

b) Is it useful in this moment?

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment?

d) Am I out of it?

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the causal feelings – likes and dislikes?

b) What are the consequential feelings – the maze of other feelings?

c) Do I want to be peaceful?

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace?

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream? (I+X=C)

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace?

b) What is my own history?

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent?

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom?

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

State these conditionings and analyze them separately:

a) Is it reality?

b) What is the reality?

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion?

d) Do I have any reason that is not stressful to go on holding on to this belief?

e) Do I have any reason to drop it?

f) How do I feel if I drop it?

g) What is preventing me from giving up this painful story?

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my own business and interfering?

b) What is my real business in this moment? (The Turnaround)

VI. Why should I give up my real business ever?

Some beautiful examples of the work done by a very wise student, Tai Tipton from USA:

I

Disturbing thought during meditation: Why do I get SO irritable with Cannon (her son) so easily?

I. Is it a dream or reality? It is a very agitating dream.

a) Is it relevant in this moment? Not at all.

b) Is it useful in this moment? Never is.

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment? No.

d) Am I out of it? I am not unfortunately.

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the causal feelings?

I like when my son listens to what we are telling him to do

I dislike that he is so stubborn

I dislike that we have to tell him so many times to stop doing something or to go do something

I dislike getting onto him

I dislike that I am raising my voice at him

I would like if he wouldn’t be so obnoxious when Atlas cries, I am so overwhelmed.

b) What are the consequential feelings?

anxious, irritable, mean, overwhelmed, exhausted/mentally drained feeling

c) Do I want to be peaceful? Yes. So very much.

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace? No it is not possible.

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream?

I + my son’s ability to listen = C

I + my son’s resilience = IC

I + my son doing it the first time he is asked = C

I + getting onto him/raising my voice = IC

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace? No. I would just dream up something else.

b) What is my own history? I feel that I am trying to be “mom” all the time that when it comes time to settle in and play with Cannon I can’t because I felt so stressed from dealing with his rebelliousness or feelings of him “not listening” to us the first time that I am missing the times that I get to be a kid with him. I am exhausted playing the adult all the time. It is very hard to know you can’t change a person’s behavior, especially you child.

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent? Oh gosh no, he is such a great kid. These moments are never all the time.

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom? No, it isn’t possible and I can only do so much as a parent. I just don’t want to feel stressed out doing it.

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

Kids should do what they are asked the first time.

Kids should not be so stubborn

Parents should not have to raise their voice all the time

Parents should be able to ask once

a) Is it reality? hahahaha!

b) What is the reality? The reality is, kids will be kids. Parents will be parents. It is how we react that will make the difference.

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion? I am restless

d) How do I feel if I am detached from the wrong notion? Relieved.

e) What is preventing me from give up a painful story? Myself.

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my business and interfering? Yes, I am. I just feel as a parent I need to control the situation, which isn’t quite the case all the time.

b) What is my real business in this moment? Maintaining peace and detached compassion for my son and in my own understanding I will obtain this.

VI. Why should I ever give up my real business? I should never need to ever.

II

 

Disturbing thought during meditation: Why would they have started eating without us? We were 30 minutes late. Really?!

I. Is it a dream or reality? Dream.

a) Is it relevant in this moment? No.

b) Is it useful in this moment? Not at all.

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment? Not at all.

d) Am I out of it? Nope.

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the casual feelings?

I don’t like that they ate without us

I don’t like that I worked hard cooking my food for no one to try it because they have already ate.

I don’t like that I could’ve not cared and not made as much food as I did.

b) What are the consequential feelings? Irritated.

c) Do I want to be peaceful? I really do!

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace? It isn’t possible.

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream?

I + not rushing around to cook for everyone = C

I + everyone waiting to eat with us = C

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace? No.

b) What is my own history? I found it rude as I find family to be rude sometimes.

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent? No. it isn’t permanent at all.

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom? No, it would only be temporary.

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

People should wait on their family to eat Christmas dinner together

People should be more considerate.

Family should know better.

a) Is it reality? Not in my family apparently.

b) What is the reality? The reality is everyone is compulsive and sometimes not very thoughtful.

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion? I was disheartened.

d) How do I feel if I am detached from the wrong notion? Better, peaceful.

e) What is preventing me from give up a painful story? Me!

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my business and interfering? Yes, I most certainly did.

b) What is my real business in this moment?

I should wait on people to eat, I should be considerate of others and try to understand what others are going thru, especially immediate family.

VI. Why should I ever give up my real business? There isn’t a good reason I can think of!

III

 

Disturbing thought during meditation: When will Chase (her husband) be more passionate about his Change?

I. Is it a dream or reality? It is a dream I dream too very much of.

a) Is it relevant in this moment? Never is.

b) Is it useful in this moment? Not at all.

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment? No.

d) Am I out of it? I am not.

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the causal feelings?

I would like for Chase to find something that makes him happy

I don’t like that he works so many hours away from his family

I don’t like that he isn’t working on his spiritual growth when he knows it’s something he needs in his life

I don’t like that he isn’t working on his schooling to make necessary changes

I don’t like that he complains all the time and I can’t do anything for that

I don’t like that I can not help him out much

I like when my husband is home

I like when my husband is happy

I like when my husband is meditative and at peace

b) What are the consequential feelings? Sad, lonely sometimes, sometimes upset, helpless

c) Do I want to be peaceful? Yes, I really do. Always.

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace? No.

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream?

I + My husband’s happiness = C

I + My husband’s work load = IC

I + My husbands unhappiness = IC

I + more time with Chase = C

I + a more like-minded partner = C

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace? No, it would be temporary.

b) What is my own history? This has been going on for some time now. We always get lost in this. We do it as a team. I honestly just want the best for Chase. I want him to take care of himself and find peace mind/body/spirit. I want him to lose focus of having some “dream job” or the ideal that there is something better out there or that there is some “hidden reason” why he stays at his work and works so many hours until exhaustion and realize that only HE can make this CHANGE. He has to WANT this change. It has to be sincere. I am always running circles around this trying to help him feel better or look into it all at a different angle. I am exhausted because I know when Chase wants to make a difference, Chase has always made that difference. I feel like I am the only person who truly wants this change sometimes.

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent? ;No.

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom? No, I feel like it would help as I am attached to the idea of my family finding their true Self and happiness.

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

People should meditate and find their true calling.

People should make changes necessary for their well-being

People should take more effort and work towards their goals in a timely manner.

a) Is it reality? No it is not.

b) What is the reality? Everyone has their own path and their own time in the ladder of evolution.

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion? I am so sad for him a lot. Sometimes very helpless.

d) How do I feel if I am detached from the wrong notion? Lighter and more hopeful.

e) What is preventing me from give up a painful story? Me.

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my business and interfering? I am, it is clearly Chase’s business.

b) What is my real business in this moment?

I should meditate and find my true Self and calling

I should make changes necessary for my well-being

I should take more effort and work towards my own goal in a timely manner

I should have detached compassion for my husband and his own efforts to change his life and go after what he wants, understand that he truly does this for his family and to support us.  It’s his safety blanket. I will pray that he lets go of this safety blanket and realize he can do anything and still support a family.

VI. Why should I ever give up my real business? I never need to give this up! ever.

IV

 

Disturbing thought during meditation: I want to do yoga training and deepen my practice in 2015…how will I pay for this or find the time?

I. Is it a dream or reality? Dream. I am always dreaming about this ideal.

a) Is it relevant in this moment? No.

b) Is it useful in this moment? It definitely isn’t at the moment.

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment? No.

d) Am I out of it? I am not.

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the causal feelings?

I like the idea of a stronger yoga practice

I like that I would learn more about what I love to do

I don’t like that I don’t think I will have the time

I don’t like that I don’t have the funds to do so.

b) What are the consequential feelings? Discouraged

c) Do I want to be peaceful? Yes.

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace? No.

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream?

I + yoga training = C

I + time = C

I + funds for it = C

I – a deeper practice = IC

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace? No.

b) What is my own history? I find myself getting very discouraged about the idea of this. I wonder if it is the “right time” or should I wait for the universe to send me a sign? I get wrapped up that my family needs me too much right now and with Chase’s long work hours, I will never be able to achieve this goal because I will have to be at home with my kids instead. I also don’t know where the funds would come from since we are in knee deep with credit card and medical bills from 2014.

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent? Oh no, definitely very transient but seems so real at the moment I am lost in it.

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom? It cannot. EVER!

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

One should go for the goals no matter what.

It should be easy to make decisions such as these

It should be easier to make time for achieving goals.

One should never be in debt and have funds to do what they need to.

a) Is it reality? No, it all sounds so silly when I write it.

b) What is the reality? That it may not be entirely “easy” but you can only make the effort if it is what you really want. I would need to give up running circles around the idea and surrender to the universe. What will be, will be.

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion? Discourage.

d) How do I feel if I am detached from the wrong notion? Lighter.

e) What is preventing me from give up a painful story? I am the only person keeping me from my peace.

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my business and interfering? I am.

b) What is my real business in this moment?

I should make decisions easier by peace in my heart. I should make time easier for myself to achieve my goals. I should work on raising my own funds and be patient with myself. I can always practice yoga and meditation at home…everything is ok.

VI. Why should I ever give up my real business? I never need to give it up, it only makes me restless. Peace is the only way!

V

 

Disturbing thought during meditation: For someone who always encourages, when it’s time to encourage to go after what you want, my Mom is very good at discouraging.  “Now, is never a good time”…Later is always more reasonable for her.

I. Is it a dream or reality? It’s a dream.

a) Is it relevant in this moment? No.

b) Is it useful in this moment? No.

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment? I’m definitely not feeling peaceful at the moment.

d) Am I out of it? No, I am not.

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the causal feelings?

I like when my Mom encourages me.

I don’t like when she discourages me.

I don’t like that she is so wishy-washy.

I don’t like that she doesn’t like “risking”. Where is the courage she is always telling me to have?

b) What are the consequential feelings?

Angry. Very discouraged.

c) Do I want to be peaceful?I do, very much so and I don’t want to be mad at her.

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace? No, not at all.

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream?

I + My Mom’s support = C

I + My Mom’s encouragement = C

I + My Mom’s discouragement = IC

I + My Mom’s way of thinking that “later is always best” = IC

I + My Mom’s ability to take a risk and live out her own dreams = C

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace? No.

b) What is my own history? My Mom. She is a wonderful person. She is always sending me things to encourage me. But when a true change comes, she’s never one to truly support it. It always takes her a moment to process it, then I gain her support. I feel like when I was little, I would get discouraged and want to quit…she was so ready for me to quit, she never encouraged me to keep going…it was always “I pay a lot for dance class if you don’t want to go then you need to let me know” type of thing. I know she loves me and my brothers and sister very much but I know there is pent up resentment for her wishy-washy encouragement as a child and even today…as an adult. I also realized how scared she was to do anything she really wanted and would make her happy. She still does so much crap in her life that doesn’t make her happy and she is 62. It makes me sad and angry at her…I don’t know what she is waiting on and I don’t know why she always tries to get me to “wait it out”. What am I waiting on?

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent? No, I love her regardless of this, I am just lost in this silly dream.

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom? No.

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

Moms should always encourage their children to go for their dreams.

Moms should never discourage a dream.

Moms should help their children figure out how to achieve what they want.

Moms should never bring negativity to situations of which their children our trying to achieve.

Moms should be risk-takers to achieve their own dreams to set good examples for their children.

a) Is it reality? Not in my case anyway.

b) What is the reality? The reality is, people are afraid of the unknown. It takes a lot of courage to go after your dreams. People are even afraid of courage. Safety nets always feels better. The reality is, I am going to cut a whole in my safety net!

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion? I was very upset.

d) How do I feel if I am detached from the wrong notion? I am smiling.

e) What is preventing me from give up a painful story? I am the only person who keeps me in this thought.

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my business and interfering? Yes.

b) What is my real business in this moment?

I should always encourage my kids to go for their dreams. I will always help them find a way.

I should never discourage them in any way and never bring negativity to their dreams.

I should always take risks to show my children that they can too.

VI. Why should I ever give up my real business?I should never give it up for anything.

VI

 

Disturbing thought during meditation: “Oh my goodness…Why won’t she just SLEEP!?”

I. Is it a dream or reality? Dream.

a) Is it relevant in this moment? No it is not relevant at all.

b) Is it useful in this moment? Not useful but surely seems like it would be!

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment? No.

d) Am I out of it? I am definitely not.

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the causal feelings?

I do not like that my daughter doesn’t sleep throughout the night…STILL

I would like if my baby slept so I can get better sleep

b) What are the consequential feelings?

Tired, annoyed, sleep-deprived

c) Do I want to be peaceful? I absolutely do.

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace? No, but I feel like I am losing my mind when I try to function off of only a few hours of rest!

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream?

I + My baby sleeping through the night = C

I + More Sleep = C

I – My baby crying at night = C

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace? No. I would just have better rest.

b) What is my own history? I feel like a monster when I don’t get rest. I get very irritable. It has been really hard for me to deal with. I do respect my baby and her needs as a baby though…but oh my, the days like today, I am a irritable, emotional zombie.

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent? No, she will let me rest one day! (hopefully sooner than later!)

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom? No, it is impossible.

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

Babies should sleep through the night

Babies should not need anything 2-5 times a night

Babies should let their mommies rest!

a) Is it reality? No, it isn’t at all.

b) What is the reality? All babies are different. Mine in particular needs a snack and love in the middle of the night…a lot! 😉

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion? Irritable and unhappy.

d) How do I feel if I am detached from the wrong notion? I smile.

e) What is preventing me from give up a painful story? Me.

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my business and interfering? Yes, I am…It does get so hard not to get lost in this thought being sleep deprived but I know I can always come back to this Inquiry, read and come out of it!

b) What is my real business in this moment?

I should maintain peace although I am tired. I should be patient with myself and accept that I am tired and not try to be so irritable toward anyone else in my house.

VI. Why should I ever give up my real business? I should never give up my real business EVER.

VII

 

Disturbing thought during meditation: I am a terrible Mother, I do not like myself in the way I am a Mother!!!

I. Is it a dream or reality? Dream.

a) Is it relevant in this moment? Oh my! No it is not!

b) Is it useful in this moment? Absolutely not.

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment? No it isn’t at all.

d) Am I out of it? I wish I didn’t even think this way…

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the causal feelings?

I do not like that I am irritable with my son

I do not like that I yell

I do not like that I feel like a mean person

I do not like how I react to Cannon sometimes

I do not like telling him to “get out of my bubble” when all he probably needed was a hug.

I do not like feeling guilty about being this way

I do not like my character

b) What are the consequential feelings?

I am irritable. I feel irritable all the time. Anxious.

c) Do I want to be peaceful? Yes of course I do.

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace? No

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream?

I + being a better mother = C

I + not being irritable = C

I – how I react to Cannon = C

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace? I feel like, in a way, yes…because I would be doing it with love rather than whatever I am doing now.

b) What is my own history? I have had this weird relationship with my son. We are a lot alike in a lot of ways. Stubborn, short-tempered. Lately, I have been pushing him away and i don’t know why. I don’t know if I am just worn out by being with the baby all day or annoyed with him that I can’t fully “deal” with him in the moment. I feel like our relationship is rocky and the postpartum depression keeps sneaking up on me and I take it out on him. I end up feeling like I am a terrible mother and that he would be better without me.

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent? No.

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom? No.

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

Mothers should always show their love

Mothers should always be there for their children

Mothers should never raise their voice

Mothers should never get irritated at their kids

Mothers should always give hugs

a) Is it reality? No.

b) What is the reality? We make mistakes.

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion? I cry.

d) How do I feel if I am detached from the wrong notion? Acceptance

e) What is preventing me from give up a painful story? Me.

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my business and interfering? Yes, I am.

b) What is my real business in this moment?

I should always show my love

I should always be there for my SELF

I should never raise my voice, I should respond and not react!

I should give as much a hugs to my children because that is what fills my heart.

VI. Why should I ever give up my real business? There is no reason to give up my real business…ever.

VIII

 

Disturbing thought during meditation: I should just stop meditating and go get Atlas from Chase!!

I. Is it a dream or reality? Dream.

a) Is it relevant in this moment? NO

b) Is it useful in this moment? NO

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment? Nope!

d) Am I out of it? Unfortunately I am not. I feel like I need to be in there consoling her.

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the causal feelings?

I don’t like when my baby cries

I don’t like that Chase has a hard time consoling her when I am away

I don’t like that I am not with her right now

I don’t like that I cannot meditate at the moment

I don’t like that I can’t zone out her cries

b) What are the consequential feelings? Restless, helpless

c) Do I want to be peaceful? Yes!!!!!!

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace? No, I can’t.

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream?

I + consoling Atlas = C

I – my baby’s crying = C

I – noise = C

I + helping Chase with Atlas = C

I + better meditation = C

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace? NO.

b) What is my own history? I try to do everything for everyone here. I feel so responsible for my children and their needs that I cover up my own needs. I feel like Chase needs help because he isn’t here as much as I am and doesn’t know all the little things to do to calm her down. I don’t give him enough trust that he can do it and everything is OK!

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent? No, it’s very very momentary!

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom? No, it is impossible!

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

One should know how to console a baby and know their needs

Mothers should always be there for their babies

Mothers should always concentrate during meditation

One should be able to zone out noise during meditation

a) Is it reality? No it is not

b) What is the reality? The reality is, I forgot to make it all my meditation. The noise, the cries, what I am supposed to hear in awareness and love. I have all these thoughts racing thru my head about “being in there” that I wasn’t HERE and present…listening. I need to be still and accept and embrace.

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion? My mind is racing like a hamster in it’s wheel

d) How do I feel if I am detached from the wrong notion? I meditate. I am peaceful.

e) What is preventing me from give up a painful story? Myself.

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my business and interfering? Yes, I would be stepping out if I leave my meditation. Chase is fine and so is my baby girl!

b) What is my real business in this moment?

I should always be there for Self

I should console me and my needs

I should always concentrate on what is happening around me equanimously.

I should embrace the “noise” always

VI. Why should I ever give up my real business? Never need to.

IX

 

Disturbing thought during meditation: I don’t like that our old home isn’t selling. It needs to sell!

I. Is it a dream or reality? It is a dream

a) Is it relevant in this moment? No

b) Is it useful in this moment? Its not at all.

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment? Not at all.

d) Am I out of it? No.

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the causal feelings?

I like that the house would sell and we can cut the ties

I don’t like that it hasn’t sold.

I don’t like that I let my in-laws renovate it to the way it looks now, I think that is why it isn’t selling.

I don’t like the renovation and wished things were different.

I don’t like that I wasn’t assertive about how I felt about the renovations.

I like that I could pay off bills with the money.

b) What are the consequential feelings? Worried.

c) Do I want to be peaceful? Yes.

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace? No. It isn’t possible.

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream?

I + the house being sold = C

I + the home renovations the way I saw it being done = C

I + being more assertive about the renovation = C

I + paying off our bills with the money = C

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace? No.

b) What is my own history? My in-laws do too much I feel like, very in our business which frustrates me although I know they come from a good place. It’s too “over-the-top” for me. They went in the home to “help us” get it sold and I think the it made it harder to sell. They changed all of our character we added to it. We were very busy moving and with a newborn baby, I was too tired to think about it, then when all was said and done, I go look at the home and I didn’t ever recognize the place and I was disheartened. Now it isn’t selling and I can’t help but to wish that I would’ve said “Hey, this is our home and we need to have some kind of input on what goes on here” but they put their money into it, so I kept my mouth shut. We really need the money to put toward our current home and pay off some bills we have accumulated, hospital and credit debt. I get worried because of the “mess” I feel we are in and I am so ready for it to all be more simplistic.

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent? No.

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom? NO.

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

People should involve others on decisions that may affect their future

People should stay out of others business

People should buy this house

The house should have sold by now

a) Is it reality? No

b) What is the reality? The reality is that it is what it is. I can’t change the past, I can’t keep living in it. I don’t have to like the renovations but I need to understand that the house will sell when the time is right.

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion? very very restless and irritable with my in-laws.

d) How do I feel if I am detached from the wrong notion? I just accept what is and move on.

e) What is preventing me from give up a painful story? Myself.

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my business and interfering? Yes I have.

b) What is my real business in this moment?

I should focus on Self and not worry so much about further or past.

I should stay out of others business and stay in my own

I should not worry about the home selling and leave it to the Universe to decided when the right time is.

VI. Why should I ever give up my real business?  There isn’t a good reason.

X

 

Disturbing thought during meditation: That overgrown puppy chews up everything, it’s pissing me off.

I. Is it a dream or reality? Dream, I guess.

a) Is it relevant in this moment? no

b) Is it useful in this moment? no

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment? no

d) Am I out of it? I am definitely not out of it.

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the causal feelings?

I like that my dog would stop chewing all of my nice things.

I like that I can go outside without having to pick up all the crap she chews up.

I do not like that she chewed on my meditation bench…oh my lanta!!!

I do not like the she chewed up my rug, my favorite shirt, my shoe, cannon’s shoes, the water hose, the benches, the pillows, the wall, the concrete foundation and rebar to our foundation, the fence, the soccer goal net, my statue….and the list goes on and on and on and on…she doesn’t stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

b) What are the consequential feelings? Pissed off and extremely annoyed.  It’s the last thing i want to deal with right now.

c) Do I want to be peaceful? I do, I have too much going on to be peaceful.

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace? Oh GOD NO!

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream?

I – the dog chewing up EVERYTHING on god’s green earth = C

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace? NO, she will do something else…like bark all day! ha!

b) What is my own history?  Puppies annoy me, always have.  I am always the one taking care of the little rug rats too.  I am always getting onto her and I hate it.  I feel like a complete jerk but it wears on me.  We don’t have all the money in the world to replace everything.  She tears up everything.  I am over it!

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent?  no.

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom? no

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

Puppies should chew up things that belong to them ONLY!

a) Is it reality? I wish!

b) What is the reality? I need to accept that I have a puppy.  Not only a baby, but a really big baby that is teething.  I need to find the patience with that.  It’s so difficult for me.  I need to know that this stuff is external things and every time I get onto her harshly, I tear apart my peace and hers as well.

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion?  Upset.

d) How do I feel if I am detached from the wrong notion?  I feel bad that I am so mean to her.

e) What is preventing me from give up a painful story?  I am.

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my business and interfering?  I am.

b) What is my real business in this moment?  I need to work on realizing that she is a baby and I need to give her more things to chew on so I can distract her from our things.  I need to forgive her so I can actually enjoy the loving animal she is.  I need to realize that material things are just material things and my peacefulness is the most important thing.

VI. Why should I ever give up my real business?  I don’t need to ever.

XI

 

Disturbing thought during meditation: Why does Chase (her husband) make fun of me when my brain doesn’t fire right?  I am having trouble getting out what i want to say, it’s hard enough and then I get made fun of.  Hurts my feelings.  I feel stupid like i used to feel when I was young.

I. Is it a dream or reality? Dream.

a) Is it relevant in this moment? No

b) Is it useful in this moment? No

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment? How could it be?

d) Am I out of it? No, my feelings are hurt.

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the causal feelings?

I don’t like getting made fun of

I don’t like that I am having trouble speaking and thinking

I don’t like feeling inadequate and dumb

b) What are the consequential feelings? hurt.

c) Do I want to be peaceful? Yes, I do.

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace? No it is not possible.

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream?

I + speaking what I want to say without the long “thinking pause” = C

I + Chase not making fun of me for it = C

I – feeling like a dummie = C

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace? NO.

b) What is my own history? Ever since I was a little girl I had problems with executing my thoughts.  After having Cannon, I had “baby brain” badly and now again with Atlas.  I have had learning disability when I was young and my “friends” made fun of me a lot.  I always felt dumb.  I honestly don’t think my family believed in me much either.  So when Chase does this, it takes me back to terrible feelings such as these.

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent?  No. not at all.

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom? Not at all.

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

People should not make fun of others

Husbands should not make fun of their wives in that way

People should always be able to think clearly

People should never worry about what others think

People should always give others the benefit of the doubt, they may surprise you!

a) Is it reality? No. it isn’t.

b) What is the reality? People are compulsive, they don’t think about how other feel or if they hurt others feelings.  And as for my early years “friends”, they knew it hurt my feelings and didn’t care much about that.  Again very compulsive.

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion? Upset.

d) How do I feel if I am detached from the wrong notion? I know that I am a smart wonderful person…I feel OK with whatever is happening in the moment and forgive.

e) What is preventing me from give up a painful story? I am.

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my business and interfering? Yes, I am.

b) What is my real business in this moment?

I should not make fun of others.

I should always think clearly about other’s compulsive thinking and not take it so darn personal!

I should never worry about what other’s think, I know what I am capable of! All that matters.

I should always give others the benefit of the doubt, there is something special in everyone.

VI. Why should I ever give up my real business?  It should never happen!

XII

 

Disturbing thought during meditation: Why do I let it get to me so much when other kids say mean things to Cannon (her son) at his school?  He is just so sweet,  it hurts my heart for him!

I. Is it a dream or reality? Dream.

a) Is it relevant in this moment? No but I just want to tell those kids something so badly!

b) Is it useful in this moment? No.

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment? Not at all!

d) Am I out of it? Nope.

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the causal feelings?

I like that my son is honest with me about what goes on at school

I don’t like that kids are mean to him…ever

I dislike that they give him a hard time for being different.

I dislike that his “best” friend is the one that gives him the hardest time

I dislike the little girl that hurt his feelings about his schoolwork

I dislike that they always say something about his lunch

b) What are the consequential feelings? Annoyed.

c) Do I want to be peaceful? Yes, I do.

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace? No but it’s so hard to separate these feelings when it comes to your children’s hurts.

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream?

I + Cannon having better friends = C

I + telling these kids to go “fly a kite” = C

I + wanting to go teach a course over what kids really need to be eating at school and not making fun of my son for his lunches = C!

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace? No, something else would just arise I’m sure.

b) What is my own history?  I know how it feels.  I am not trying to “play the victim” but kids are cruel and kids, when feeling either jealous or when they don’t understand things, they are rude.  I also just want people to be as nice and understanding as my son.  He judges people by their actions, I feel I have taught him this and he gets his feelings hurt when they are rude.  He is not a rude kid and all he wants is a lot of friends to play with.

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent?  No, I move on from it, as does he.

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom? No, it cannot happen.

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

Parents should teach their kids to be respectful of others

Kids should not be so rude

Parents should not have to worry about their kids at school

Kids should have good friends and be comfortable with who they are, always!

a) Is it reality? No.

b) What is the reality?  The reality is, kids will be kids.  I will just keep up my ability as a parent to teach Cannon to not behave that way and forgive.

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion?  Anxious.

d) How do I feel if I am detached from the wrong notion?  I am ok with What IS.

e) What is preventing me from give up a painful story? Me. Of course. haha

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my business and interfering? Yes.

b) What is my real business in this moment?

I should not be rude

I should teach my child to not be rude or judgmental

I should teach my child that he is always welcome here at home with no judgement of who he is and that he can be comfortable with that always!

VI. Why should I ever give up my real business?  Never needs to happen EVER! and when it does…I do this work! 🙂

XIII

 

Disturbing thought during meditation: What is wrong with my stupid wrist, it is so hindersome to my yoga practice!

I. Is it a dream or reality?  annoying dream that really feels like reality!

a) Is it relevant in this moment? Gosh no.

b) Is it useful in this moment? not at all.

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment? no it isn’t.

d) Am I out of it? I am not at all!

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the causal feelings?

I like that I can do yoga without pain

I dislike the pain I am experiencing

I dislike that I can’t do much today in my practice

b) What are the consequential feelings? very annoyed

c) Do I want to be peaceful? Yes, of course I do!

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace? No.

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream?

I – my wrist pain = C

I + being able to do what I would like to do in my practice = C

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace? No.

b) What is my own history?  I get discouraged when my wrist starts to hurt because I know I cannot do anything on my hands and I cannot work toward any arm balances whatsoever.

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent? No.

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom? No it cannot.

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

People should not have to experience any body aches or pains EVER.

a) Is it reality?  No

b) What is the reality?  The reality is I am forgetting what the true meaning of yoga is and I am not breathing the light and healing of yoga into my pains but rather resisting it and getting frustrated.

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion? Well, I get so frustrated and I cry.

d) How do I feel if I am detached from the wrong notion?  I accept my pain and work with my pain.

e) What is preventing me from give up a painful story? Me!

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my business and interfering?  Oh yes, very much so.

b) What is my real business in this moment?

I should not resist to any pains or aches in my body throughout my yoga practice but rather breathe into it and give it time to improve.

VI. Why should I ever give up my real business?  Why do I ever do this?  I have no idea!

XIV

 

Disturbing thought during meditation: Why is my brother’s ex-wife allowing my sweet little niece to take prozac of all things???? I mean really!!!!! How stupid.

I. Is it a dream or reality?  It is a dream, a very strong one.

a) Is it relevant in this moment? no

b) Is it useful in this moment? no

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment? no, I want to slap this woman right now.

d) Am I out of it? no.

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the causal feelings?

I dislike my brother’s ex-wife and her stupid choices for her daughter.

I dislike that it is not my business and I cannot speak up

b) What are the consequential feelings? angry

c) Do I want to be peaceful? I do, but it is very hard to think of anything else right now.

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace? no, I am not peaceful at all right now.

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream?

I + being able to help my niece = C

I + my nieces well-being = C

I – being able to help her = IC

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace? No.

b) What is my own history?  I do not like this woman, she is selfish and does many things for attention even if it through the kids.  I do not agree with putting children on medication when they have even accessed a better diet plan first.

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent? No.

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom? No.

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

Mothers should put their children on better eating habits not awful pharmaceutical drugs!

Mothers should make better choices for their children

Doctors should take training in nutrition not prescribing drugs, especially for our youth!

a) Is it reality? It isn’t at all.

b) What is the reality?  The reality is, I won’t ever agree with this.  The reality is, I need to accept what is and pray for my niece’s well-being and that something better will happen soon or my brother will try really hard do something about it.

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion?  very upset and angry

d) How do I feel if I am detached from the wrong notion? I am trying to accept what is.  I am really am.

e) What is preventing me from give up a painful story?  I am.

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my business and interfering? I am.  It is very hard for me. this one.

b) What is my real business in this moment?

I should feed my children and myself a good proper diet and never nasty pharmaceutical drugs.

I should always try to make the best choices for my kids.

VI. Why should I ever give up my real business?  I am trying not too.

XV

 

Disturbing thought during meditation: I feel guilty for not working out on a regular basis…I am not consistent and I feel like I am teaching my son to do the same!

I. Is it a dream or reality? Dream.

a) Is it relevant in this moment? No

b) Is it useful in this moment? No

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment? No

d) Am I out of it? I am not.

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the causal feelings?

I dislike that I am not consistent when it comes to exercise

I dislike that I feel I am teaching my kid to not finish things

I dislike that I am not teaching myself or my son that working out is important to our health!

b) What are the consequential feelings? I am super discouraged.

c) Do I want to be peaceful? Yes.

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace? No.

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream?

I + better work ethic with exercise = C

I + teaching my son of it’s importance = C

I + working out everyday = C

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace? No, but I do feel it would help if I could get out of this funk!

b) What is my own history?  I am very wishy-washy with commitment to this sort of thing.  I have never been an avid exerciser and I d wish I was!  I’ll get there one day I guess.  This is something I go over and over in my head…a lot!

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent? No.

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom?  No, it is not possible.

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

People should work out to improve health

People should always exercise

Parents should teach their children be leading by example.

a) Is it reality? No.

b) What is the reality?  It happens.  All we can do is keep trying.

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion? Discouraged and questioning myself.

d) How do I feel if I am detached from the wrong notion?  I am hopeful that it isn’t too late to start again.

e) What is preventing me from give up a painful story? Myself

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my business and interfering? I am, as usual. huh

b) What is my real business in this moment?

I should work out to improve my health and wellbeing

I should set an intention everyday to do some kind of activity and forgive myself if I don’t honor it

I should always give valid effort for this goal, after all it is a goal I must work toward…always

I should lead by example for my children to see that even if they fall of track, you can get back on at any time!

VI. Why should I ever give up my real business?  I should not give this up, not ever if I want to remain peaceful. 🙂

XVI

 

Disturbing thought during meditation: Why did Cannon ask me if we would “get more rich”?  It bothers me that this is important to him…I mean, what do YOU really need to buy dude?

I. Is it a dream or reality?  Dream within a Dream! hahaha

a) Is it relevant in this moment? no but dang, come on buddy!

b) Is it useful in this moment? no it isn’t.

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment? no

d) Am I out of it? I am not.

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the causal feelings?

I dislike that my son is attaching himself to something so dull

I dislike that I have played a hand in this way of thinking

I dislike that he thinks it would be greater to be “rich” instead of how we are now.

b) What are the consequential feelings?  I feel like I’ve failed as a parent in a way.

c) Do I want to be peaceful? Yes.

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace?  No I cannot.

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream?

I + my son’s understanding that money is not  all that “wonderful” = C

I + feeling like a parental failure = IC

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace? NO.

b) What is my own history?  I was the same when I was young.  I used to think about my “rich” friends and what they had and what they got to do with their money.  But looking back, I see now that my “best friend” was sort of a brat and a jerk to her friends.  I want my kids to wake up every morning and know they just woke up with everything the need…all the rest is just a bonus!

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent? Very impermanent.

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom?  Not possible.

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

Parents should teach their kids early that money isn’t everything it appears to be

Kids should know that money or being rich really isn’t that “cool”

Kids should not have to think about being rich, what do they really need anyhow?

a) Is it reality? No, haha, it isn’t reality at all.

b) What is the reality?  Everyone is different and how they perceive things.  Cannon may just be a sensual person at the moment and he will hopefully keep moving forward with good parental guidance.

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion?  I was confused more than anything, felt like a failure.

d) How do I feel if I am detached from the wrong notion?  I am ok with it, I just need to visit with him on his thoughts of why he thinks this is important and guide him to better understanding.

e) What is preventing me from give up a painful story?  I am the only one in my way.

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my business and interfering? Yes.

b) What is my real business in this moment?

I always know that money and being “rich” isn’t everything it appears to be and teach my children their truest blessings in life.  All else is material.

VI. Why should I ever give up my real business?  I don’t need to leave my peace ever.

XVII

 

Disturbing thought during meditation: How am I supposed to get everything I want to do done?  I can’t get it all together to save my life! (literally)

I. Is it a dream or reality? Dream.

a) Is it relevant in this moment?  I just don’t know how to do all of it!

b) Is it useful in this moment? No it’s not.

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment? It isn’t but I feel like it would help if I could figure it out.

d) Am I out of it? I am not.

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the causal feelings?

I like that I can get everything done everyday without worry that I’ve missed something

I dislike that I am not always in control of my everyday activities

I dislike that I feel there isn’t enough time yet there is 24 whole hours in a day!

b) What are the consequential feelings? Anxious.

c) Do I want to be peaceful? Yes I do!

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace? No.

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream?

I + being superhuman = C

I + doing everything that I want to do on a daily basis = C

I – getting it all done = IC

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace? No.

b) What is my own history?  I want to meditate, I want to yoga, I want to exercise, I want to be a great mother: cook, clean, dishes, clean bathrooms, dust, hang clothes, take care of BABY, go to yoga class, work on my ‘goddess challenge’, take a nice soak, do my hair/makeup, get dressed, pick up cannon….and and and…  Its just so much.

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent? No.

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom?  No, it isn’t possible.  So I keep telling myself this! 🙂

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

People should be superhuman and get everything done in a 24 hour period!

Mothers should always look presentable and feel great about themselves

Mothers should always make time for themselves and get all daily chores done

a) Is it reality? Gosh I am sitting here wishing it were but it is just not…at all.

b) What is the reality?  The reality is, I need to pace myself.  Make time to notice the importance of the day and get done what I can.  I always need to keep in mind that I do try my best every day of my life and that I am enough…always!

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion?  I am very disgruntled

d) How do I feel if I am detached from the wrong notion? I am lighter and more forgiving of myself!

e) What is preventing me from give up a painful story? Me, as usual.

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my business and interfering? Yes.

b) What is my real business in this moment?

I should slow down and realize I am not superhuman

I should always know that even if I don’t look quite “presentable” that day, I am perfectly imperfect.

I should always make time for myself to realize my Truth, it is all that matters but I should forgive myself if I forget this importance and detach later.. (with Ajay!) 😉

VI. Why should I ever give up my real business?  It is so important that I should always try to never give it up.

XVIII

 

Disturbing thought during meditation: I don’t know if I need to teacher training now…the money could go toward bills and recouping our savings account.  I hate money.

I. Is it a dream or reality? Dream.

a) Is it relevant in this moment? No.

b) Is it useful in this moment? No.

c) Is it conducive to peace in this moment? It isn’t.

d) Am I out of it? I am not at all out of it.

II. What are the feelings hidden in the dream?

a) What are the causal feelings?

I like that I can do teacher training without guilt

I dislike that we are barely paying our bills and can’t put back into savings what we pulled out

I dislike that I may need to hold off on teacher training.

I dislike that I am always putting my life on hold for “our mistakes”

b) What are the consequential feelings? I am super stressed feeling, very upset.

c) Do I want to be peaceful? I do and I was up until 15 minutes ago!

d) Keeping the causal feelings alive, can I attain peace? No.

III. What are the incompleteness equations hidden in the dream?

I  – guilt of using money for teacher training vs putting back for bills = C

I + teacher training = C

I + efficient amount of money without worry = C

a) If these desires get fulfilled, will I get lasting peace? No.

b) What is my own history?  I usually do this.  I back out of things.  I do it with the intention that I am going to help our situation.  I always put money issues before my own personal desires.  I don’t like to feel guilty or have it on my shoulders that if “we spent the money on training, we would’ve been able to put back into savings or paid bills with it”

c) Am I attaching myself with something permanent? No.

d) Can incompleteness ever give completeness and freedom? No.

IV. What are the general conditionings hidden in the dream?

One should know what one wants and not give up on one’s dream to do so

People should always have efficient amount of money to do what they would like to do

People should not have to worry about money or bills all the time

a) Is it reality? No.

b) What is the reality?  The reality is, my fate is on the other side of my fear.  The reality is “What IF” is my worst enemy right now.

c) How do I feel when I am attached to this wrong notion? I am so stressed out feeling.

d) How do I feel if I am detached from the wrong notion?  I need to let things play out as they are supposed to.

e) What is preventing me from give up a painful story?  me.

V. Whose business?

a) Am I stepping out of my business and interfering? yes. i am very much so.

b) What is my real business in this moment?

I should always have efficient amount of love for my choices to Self.

I should do my best and pay my bills with what I have right now.

I should not worry about my bills all the time or my savings…money comes and goes.

I should do what is right for Self.

VI. Why should I ever give up my real business?  No it should never happen.

 

A Shorter Form of Deep Inquiry can be like this:

 

Z Meditation Worksheet